Thankful Thursday-ish: March 20th

Over the last few months, I've found myself in a difficult season- I objectively know that I have so much to be thankful for and I know that I should be happy. But my little heart is having some trouble. It's the sort of thing where I'm not sure what to say when people casually ask, "How are you?" The 'just-be-normal-and-don't-cause-an-awkward-moment' people pleaser in me makes me put a smile on my face and answer "Good!", instead of "Ok" or "Uh, not great. I'm kind of sad and I cry a lot." The truth is not always easy to share.

Now, I haven't been completely lying with my "I'm fine" answers, because I have been experiencing deep joy at times, but it just doesn't seem to stick for very long. Worry, anxiety, and fear of the future seem to be my norm, while faith in God's character and trust in his love for me occasionally make an appearance. I'm so weary of being like the man in James 1 who looks in the mirror and then walks away and immediately forgets what he looks like. Oh, that I could "look intently into the perfect law that gives freedom" and then find blessing in doing what it says. Jesus, help me in my unbelief!

All that to say, thankfulness is definitely a discipline for me right now, and God has been so faithful to use it to bless me and bring my emotions into alignment with what I know to be true. Even as I've thought about what to list for 'Thankful Thursday', many people, situations, and things, both large and small, have come to mind that God has blessed me with. He is so good to me! But instead of listing them today, I want to thank the Lord for a song that he's used to encourage me often in the last few weeks.

It speaks of a truth that is really encouraging: scripture often tells us to ask God for what we need and then humbly accept his answers with thankfulness, knowing that what he gives is always good, even if it's different than what we expected. The last part of the song is a beautiful Gospel-preaching reminder: that because we know Jesus, we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream, in abundance or in need. And then, even with all that he's already blessed us with, he invites us to keep asking for more because he knows that we're needy. Amazing! So Jesus, would you please?

Click on this link to listen to Nichole Nordeman's song called Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You

That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead.

And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .